


The Hearts Supposed to Bleed

by ApplesandAlways



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2121786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApplesandAlways/pseuds/ApplesandAlways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Swan Queen AU.<br/>Regina Mills is the front singer for a uprising band called The Evil Queen. But living in the shadow of her mob mother and her actions have given her a bad name in the band community in this city in Maine. But when foster child Emma Swan meets her, the two strike an odd friendship, much to her new friend Mary-Margret's dismay.  But the two feel more then just a friendship building as Regina teaches Emma how to play the guitar.<br/>M for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be as close to cannon as I can get while still keeping it very much AU and the story I want. So, there will be a few cannon scenes, references, and conversations. Pretty much keeping it as close as I can and showing how it SQ still makes sense....  
> Also, I am only posting for my friend Bashia. She wanted to read it. If it goes well, I may post more, but I am going to post the first 2 parts today and see how it goes.

Chapter 1

  
The club was packed full of people on the dance floor, the lighting was dim only illuminating the stage she could not fully see yet. She pushed her way through the crowd trying to get a better view of the stage, her hand holding his tightly to not lose her best friend. People kept running into her, and pushing her further back in the crowd.  
  
"August," Emma called out. "I can't see." They were already late for the show, and had just made it to see the last band.  
  
 August sighed, and moved ahead of her. He parted the crowd, leading her to the very front directly in front of the stage. She smiled at him.  
  
"Thanks! And thanks for taking me out tonight!" She yelled over the crowd.  
  
"No problem! You needed it!" He told her. She nodded, and looked over to the stage as the rest of the lights lite up.  
  
The crowd roared as the woman with dark brown short hair stepped into the center of the stage. She wore a black military like blazer with a forest green scarf around her neck. Her pants were leather that were almost absurdly to tight. It was somewhat difficult to tell where her tall boots began. The boots were stilettos and laced up to the bottom of her knee. Their were gold chains dangling from the few buckles they had.  
  
Her face is what caught Emma's attention the most. It was cold and ruthless, she was able to tell this woman wasn't someone you wanted to double cross. But at the same time Emma could see through this exterior, and found a woman with hopes and dreams all of which seemed to be far out of reach.  
  
Emma was snapped out of this trans when the music began playing. It was loud and it only pumped up the crowd more. The woman began singing and it was like nothing she had ever heard. Her voice was low and soothing, just enough rasp to catch someone's, or everyone's, attention. The stage was hers and everyone watching was just lucky to watch this talent. There was emotion in her voice, choking every word. Singing was this woman's life, and anyone was foolish to try and stop her or keep her from it.  
  
She tilted her head, deciding not to think about it to much and just enjoy herself. This was her night out with August, a rare occurrence due to her foster parents and their strong hate for him. She deserved this night, and didn't want to spend it thinking about this woman.  
_____________  
After the show had finished, Emma and August went with a few members in one of the others band to a party. August assured Emma it would be okay, that he knew and was friends with most of these people, and Emma trusted him. The house belonged to Gold, the Manager of most the bands that played. Everything in his house was old and pawned. Emma wouldn't lie that she found it kind of creepy, but was to engulfed by her surroundings to much let it bother her.  
  
They were talking about the show with a group of moderately drunk people. She tried not to laugh at the drunken fools around her. The party had just started an hour ago and could only imagine how these people would be by nights end.  
  
August had wondered off, talking to Blue (the violinist that played the first set up they missed) who names fit her bright blue head of hair. And she was alone with people she didn't know. She tried to separate herself, but was pulled back in by the group.  
  
She looked over, and saw the woman that had performed walk to the front door.  
  
"Who is that?," Emma asked the group she was talking to, and pointed to her.  
  
"That's Regina," Ruby said, with a popped eyebrow. She flipped her dark brown hair with red streaks over her shoulder, and looked over to the door where Regina walked out."She is best left alone."  
  
"Why?" She wondered.  
  
"Her band is called The Evil Queen for a reason," Mary-Margret explained. The girl had long brown hair, and was around 15. Emma had recongized her from school, but had never spoken with her until tonight. The rest of the people at this party seemed to be in college. Mary almost seemed disgusted to be talking about the woman. She was the only other one in the group that was sober. "She's as evil as the name, and as cold as stone."  
  
Emma felt she couldn't believe it, not completely. "I'll make up my views of her," she said. Walking away she moved outside. She wouldn't judge someone based off someone's conclusion of her.  
  
She found Regina sitting on the fence, with a cigarette in her mouth. She was looking off into the distance. The moon shined on her face just right almost making her angelic. She took a long drag from her cigarette.  
  
"Not in a festive mood," Emma asked. Regina looked over to her, and brought her eyes in.  
  
"No one seems to notice my absence," Regina answered.  
  
"I did," Emma said. Regina sighed, and filched her cigarette.  
  
"Can I help you?" She asked, rudely. Not understanding why the girl would notice her leaving.  
  
"You have another," Emma asked, wanting a way in to a conversation with her. Regina lifted her eyebrow, and tossed her pack to Emma. "Thanks."  
  
"Why are you really out here? Mary get you to spy on me?" She wondered. No one just talked to her casually, why would this be any different. Especially sense she had seen her being chipper inside with her worst enemy.  
  
"No," Emma said. She placed a cigarette in her mouth, and lite it. "Just heard a lot about you, and I wanted to make my own determination."  
  
"What's their to know?" Regina asked.  
  
"Well, why does everyone think your heartless?"  
  
"Cause I'm a bitch," she answered. "I don't take shit..."  
  
"Oh," Emma said. "Neither do I."  
  
"That and Mary-Marget thinks I killed her father," she continued.  
  
"Oh," she repeated but more emphasized. Regina chuckled slightly.  
  
"You can leave now, just like everyone else," she insisted.  
  
"No," Emma said, shaking her head. "I'm not them, and I'm not like them."  
  
Regina squinted her eyes, and took another hit. "Why are you interested in me?"  
  
Emma shrugged. "I don't know. I just am... You looks like you have a story,"  
  
"Doesn't everyone?" She tested. She tried to sound annoyed, but she she felt good to have someone interested her.  
  
"True."  
  
"I don't talk about myself," Regina said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why would I?"  
  
"Because then all that anyone knows about you is what other people know and see. It's all rumor, and not who you really are."  
  
"What if I don't want these people to know who I am? These people are really nothing to me, they aren't who I care about," she explained.  
  
"Then why are you here?"  
  
"Media," she answered simply. She took one last hit of her cigarette, and dropped it to the ground below. "And now that I've been here, I can go." She began walking away.  
  
"Your going to leave without saying goodbye?" Emma called out.  
  
"Who would miss me?" Regina tested.  
  
"I will," Emma answered. For the first time tonight Regina smiled, and it was genuine. Not only did had she noticed her leaving the party but was sad to see her leaving and would miss her.  
  
"Goodnight, Ms-?" She trailed off realizing she hadn't caught the blondes name.  
  
"Swan," Emma answered.  
  
"Goodnight Ms, Swan," she finished, and began walking away.  
  
"Wait, will I see you again?" Emma asked, she wanted to talk to this woman more. She was fascinated.  
  
Regina turned around as she unlocked her car, and glanced back towards Emma. "If you want to see me, find me!" She yelled then got In Her car.  
  
Emma stood on the porch dumbfounded. How was she supposed to know where to find her, other than here. And seeing her again this way seemed unlikely due to the fact that it was August who brought her here. Though there weren't many studios in this small city, she wondered if she could find her there, but there were enough to not know which one.  
  
Why did she want to know? Why did she care? She didn't normally care to get close to people. She distanced herself. Even with August, he didn't know her. Not really. After Neal, she didn't trust anyone. Yet she wanted to trust Regina, she want to know her flaws and dreams. She wanted to be with her.  
  
"Emma?" Mary-Margaret asked walking out onto the porch.  
  
"Huh?" Emma asked facing her.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
"I'm fine just thinking," she answered.  
  
"You smoke?"  
  
"Uh, occasionally," she said, and took a hit. She threw the barely smoked cigarette on the ground and walked back into the party. She mingled with the people Regina hated, that she found herself being able to be along with. She also found, after much weeding Regina into conversation, that Regina use to be good and kind but somehow she turned into what they called a "mega bitch". Everyone was afraid of her, but Mary and her boyfriend David (which everyone seemed to follow every word either of them said). She also found out Regina's family was part of the mob, and was not to be double crossed. Thankfully right before she left she found out from Blue where Regina's studio was.  
____________  
Regina found herself smiling foolishly on her drive home. It truly was foolish too. This girl, whom she didn't even know, gave her fear but glee at the same time. She shouldn't let this girl in, but she wanted to. It was dangerous, but wasn't her life?  
  
Someone cared what she had to say. She didn't pretend to listen, and she wasn't afraid of her. For once in a long time, she met someone real.  
  
She parked her car in the parking garage, and stepped out. She tossed her keys to the butler, who was waiting for her arrival home. She nodded to him slightly and tried to look at him, but, like always, he averted her gaze. She huffed, knowing her world of people living in fear of her.  
  
She walked past her to him to her door. She opened the door to her home and found her son in the arms of his nanny. She smiled as she moved to over to him.  
  
"Hey there," she said. The nanny looked over to her with confusion.  
  
"You seem happy?" She asked. Regina smirked.  
  
"My night didn't go as bad as I thought it would." She reached out and picked up Henry from her arms. "How's my big boy?"  
  
"Mama," the tired boy barely got out. She pulled him close into a hug. His two year old arms clung to his mother tightly.  
  
"What happened?" The nanny asked.  
  
"I met someone," Regina answered. Even though it was an absurdly hopeless and irrational for her to think the woman would be interested in her. And she wasn't even attracted to woman, yet her she was. She briefly wondered how old the blonde was. "You can get some sleep," she said, touching the nanny arm.  
  
She was always kinder to the nanny, Rose, because Rose had helped raise her and had a soft side for the woman. This woman was the only person who didn't see her as wicked but as a hurt being. She didn't like Regina's choices but she understood.  
  
Rose walked to her room, and Regina walked her sleepy son to his room. She knew he waited for her to get home before going to sleep. He was falling asleep in her arm, his head rested against her chest. She smiled at him, and hummed softly. She placed him in his bed, and kissed his forehead.  
  
"Sing mama," he asked her, grabbing her hand. She smiled, knowing she would.  
  
She began singing the lullaby she made when she found out she was having a little boy and it always made Henry fall asleep. It was a song about her little prince and how he was her everything. He tried to stay awake to listen to the full song, but began drifting away during the first verse. His little hand went slack, and breathing got heavier as he fell asleep. She let go of his hand and walked to her bedroom.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma seeks out Regina/

Chapter Two

  
Emma walked along the road, searching for the address she was given. She smiled geekishly, excited about seeing Regina again. Butterflies filled her stomach. She felt like an idiot. She had been warned not to go to the studio, and was actually banned by August to do so.   
  
That lead them into an argument. She hated being told what to do, and if she wanted to see Regina she would. And no one, let alone August, would stop her.   
  
Her thoughts where pulled by a kid in the street. He was just a toddler, and his mother was no where to be found.   
  
"Kid, get out of the road!" She exclaimed. The child did not move. A car came around the corner at a high speed. Emma ran into the road and picked up the boy. He pulled him out of the way and to the sidewalk. "Kid, you can't play in the road!" She looked around. "Where is your mother?!"   
  
"Henry!" Emma heard a frantic woman exclaim. "Henry, where are you!?"   
  
"Mommy!" The boy began crying.   
  
"Henry!" Regina yelled as she ripped into view. She ran over to the boy, and picked him up. "Don't ever do that again!" She pulled the boy in tight, almost suffocating him. Her hand placed on his head, protecting him. She looked over to Emma. "Ms. Swan?" She questioned.   
  
"Hi," Emma replied almost shyly.   
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked, pulling Henry closer. It was still clear she was in a panicked state.   
  
"I was coming to see you," she answered. "And apparently saving this little guy from getting hit by cars. Is he yours?"   
  
"Yes," Regina snapped. Emma pulled her head back. "Sorry, I'm still-"   
  
"-you're fine."

 

“How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?” Regina offered.

 

“Have anything stronger?”

 

They began walking as Regina guided them back to her studio. They stayed silent, glancing to each other every so often. Regina held her son's hand tightly, frightened to lose him again.

 

“I didn't think you'd actually find me,” Regina said.

 

“It wasn't that hard. Everyone at the party knew where your studio was. Did you not want me to?”

 

“No, I mean. I-” she looked down. “I didn't think you'd even try,” she finished with a sad tone.

 

Emma felt a hint of sadness in her. This woman was so use to be alone and left out that she didn't expect anyone to seek her out. Emma had a feeling that she was alone in pretty much everything, something Emma could relate to.   
  
"So, his name is Henry?" Regina nodded slightly. "I like that name."   
  
Regina adjusted him in her arms. "Thank you, he is named after my father." Regina paused, wondering why she had just confessed that.   
  
"Oh, I bet he is an amazing man," Emma added.   
  
"He was."   
  
"Was?"   
  
Regina lifted her eyebrow. "Are you really that dense? He's dead."   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Emma apologized.   
  
"What about yours?" Regina asked. She set Henry down, and stopped walking. She grabbed his hand and opened the door.   
  
Emma shrugged. "Never met him, never want to." Regina paused, and looked at Emma. Their eyes met for a brief second, but Henry's tug on her hand pulled them apart.   
  
"I'm hungry," the boy whined.   
  
"Alright," Regina said, she knelt down. "I'll get you lunch if you promise me you'll never run off like that ever again. Okay?" The boy nodded. Regina led them into the break area of the studio.    
  
Emma looked around the break room. The studio was immaculate, and decorated with somewhat gothic Victorian design interior. It was just like she had imagined for the woman. She watched Regina put Henry down into a high chair she assumed Regina had brought for it today.   
  
She didn't peg the woman for having a child, but she did. Now that she saw the woman with one, she couldn't unsee it. The way she looked at her child was full of so much love, her heart tugged wishing her parents had looked at her like that. Regina walked over and grabbed food and two ale's from inside the fridge that was in the room.   
  
"How come I've never heard of this studio?"   
  
"It's my private studio," Regina answered. "Only ones allowed in are my band."   
  
"Oh, I thought Gold was your-"   
  
"-Gold isn't anything," she corrected. "Gold is just a twisted little imp. I don't even like my band being here, but we need a practice and recording space."   
  
"Why don't you get a new band if you don't like them?"   
  
Regina sighed, and sat Henry's food down for him to eat. She watched to make sure he was eating, though it was sloppy.   
  
"No one else would put up with me," Regina answered, almost sadly. "I pay them more than their due, but who else would want to work with me?" She handed Emma half of her pasta she had brought, and walked to the other side of the couch near Henry to help him eat.   
  
"I... I would."   
  
Regina dropped the napkin she was using to clean Henry's chin, and looked to Emma.   
  
"You would what?" Regina asked.   
  
Emma shook her head, and laughed. "Never mind, it's stupid."   
  
Regina smirked slightly. "No, tell me."   
  
Emma bit her lip. "I want to be in a band... With you."   
  
"Do you even know how to play an instrument?" Regina asked, trying not to show excitement.   
  
"No...but I've always wanted to play guitar," Emma tried to cover herself. "But I never got the chance to learn."   
  
Regina's face, who had softened from concern to interest. "Why didn't you?"   
  
Emma sighed. "I tried, but every time I tried I was..." She hesitated. "Something would come up and I couldn't."   
  
"Oh," Regina got out. "Well, I could teach you."   
  
Emma's face lite up. "Really?! You know how to play?!" Emma jumped up, and closer to Regina.   
  
Regina gasped at the sudden outburst of behavior. She pulled back slightly, and eyes went wide.   
  
"Yes, I do. And the piano and violin," she answered, pulling herself away.   
  
"Could you teach me?" Emma asked eagerly.   
  
"If you stop acting so weird,"Regina answered. Emma smiled widely and threw her arms around the brunette. "Miss Swan!" Regina exclaimed. Emma pulled away.   
  
"Sorry,"Emma apologized. She gave an attempt at a apologetic smile.   
  
"I don't like being touched," Regina pointed out. She pushed her skirt down, clearly displaying her discomfort.   
  
"I can see that. Don't worry, I won't ever touch you again," Emma said, though she still smiled. Regina frowned slightly at that. She nodded though, confirming that she would teach her.   
  
"Oh, thank you!" Emma exclaimed. She had to refrain from hugging the woman again.   
  
"You're welcome." Regina looked over to Henry who was almost finished eating,   
  
"When can we start?" Emma said gleefully. Regina couldn't lie, she liked seeing Emma this happy and hopeful.   
  
"Uh," Regina thought, trying to think of a good time. "How's Wednesday night?"   
  
Emma slumped. "I can't. On Wednesdays my fo...." She trailed off, realizing she was about to say something she didn't like people knowing.   
  
"On Wednesdays, what?" Regina pressed for the girl to finish her sentence.   
  
"I, uh, have this thing on Wednesdays," Emma said, clearly not willing to say what she originally thought.   
  
"Oh, well, what about Thursday?"   
  
"After school, that's fine," Emma said, now somewhat in a slump.   
  
"How old are you, anyway?" Regina asked.   
  
"17," Emma replied simply. "I finally turn 18 in February." Regina nodded. She should have guessed Emma was that young. "And you?"   
  
"I'll be 22 in December," Regina answered.   
  
"You're birthday is only a few months away," Emma point.   
  
"Your observation is astounding."

 

“I don't know why, but I thought you were older.”

 

“I get that a lot.” Regina frowned slightly. She always got that she looked younger than she was, that was until her mother stolen her innocence and given it to that dreadful man. She cleared her throat and looked at her son. He was the only good thing that came out of her dreadful marriage.  
  
Regina cleaned of Henry's face, and leaned over her plate to eat. Emma watched her for countless minutes, not touching her own food. she was fascinated by the woman. Emma took in every mannerism of the woman. Regina looked up, and caught the young blond looking at her. Emma blushed and looked down.  
  
"Is everything alright?" Regina asked.  
  
"Uh, yea everything is fine, I just..." Emma laughed slightly. "I don't know."  
  
"What?" Regina tested.  
  
"It's just... No, Regina, it's silly," Emma retracted. Suddenly she was shy and pulled in.  
  
"It's rude to not finish you sentences," she told the blonde.  
  
"Uh," Emma stumbled. "I just think you're, uh, really pretty is all." Emma's cheeks were flush. Regina smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear blushing along with the other girl.  
  
"Thank you," she replied genuinely.  
  
"But it's not like you didn't know that already," Emma added. "I'm sure people tell you that all the time."  
  
"No," Regina answered the statement. "No one talks to me, and when they do its very minimal."  
  
"Oh. Like at all?" Regina shook her head.  
  
"Not really..."  
  
"That must be really lonely," Emma said, understanding what it was like to be lonely.  
  
"I have Henry," she said smiling at the boy. Emma could see the love she had for her son, and it hurt her slightly. She wished for a life time of looks like that from her mother.  
  
"His father never told you you were pretty," Emma asked.  
  
"I..." Regina stammered. Her head shook the memories. "He did, but he never meant it like that... I was his possession." She answered. Emma could see a tear forming in Regina's eyes, and she dropped her head. "I'd rather not talk about Henry's father."  
  
Emma reached out and cupped Regina's face. Her finger wiped the tear, and Regina nuzzled into Emma's hand. She wrapped her hand over Emma's. Emma looked deeply into her eyes and could see all the hidden horrors. Emma knew Regina had them with the way many avoid certain topics about Regina, and the way Regina avoided this. But looking into her eyes she could see the pain that the woman carried.  
  
"You are beautiful, and you should be told that every moment of everyday by some who means it and love you," Emma said. Her fingers trailed down Regina's neck.  
  
Regina gasped slightly and pulled away. "I should get back to work," she said as she stood. "You’re welcome to join if you'd like. I'm just working on some sheet music today."  
  
Emma nodded. "Okay." Emma jumped out of her seat.  
  
Regina stood and picked up Henry into her arms. The boy cuddled into his mothers arms, whimpering slightly. She smiled and held him tightly. "Rosa going to come get you in a bit," she told him. His face lite up more, causing her to frown. "Until then, you're going come with me." The boy sulked slightly.  
  
Regina looked towards Emma. "Follow me," she said as she walked out of the break room, and down the hallway to a small room off to the left of the sound studio.  
  
The only things in it was a black desk, a chair on either side of it. On the desk was a laptop computer, that was decorated with a Victorian lace type patter. Over to the corner of the room was a glass cabinet with an old violin and bow. The room was painted white with black paneling that came half way up the wall and match the crown molding of the ceiling. There was a closet on the opposing wall next to the door, which Emma found out held supplies and toys for Henry.  
  
Regina pulled out some toys for Henry, and let him play on the ground. She brought the chair on the down side of the desk around to her side. After sitting in her seat, she gestured for Emma to sit in the one now beside her. Which Emma carefully sat on.  
  
"Do you know how to read sheet music?" She asked Emma.  
  
"Kind of," the blonde explained, shrugging.  
  
"How do you mean kind of?" Regina tested.  
  
"I mean, I know how to decipher it, but I don't know the pitches of the notes."  
  
Regina picked up a piece of sheet music, and slid it in front of Emma after drawing some simple notes on it "That is where we will start. I'm going to sing, without words. I'm going to start with the sing this." Regina sat up straight and began signing, and Emma followed along with the papers he had been handed. She tried to freeze the sounds with there corresponding notes.  
  
"Your turn," she told Emma. Emma looked at her wide eyed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, your turn," Regina repeated.  
  
"I heard you, but I can't do that. I don't sing."  
  
"I'm not going to judge you." Emma lifted a questioning eyebrow. "Okay, maybe I will, but I get your not used to it."  
  
"I'm not singing, I'm sorry," Emma stood firm. Regina sighed, seeing her efforts got her no where.  
  
"Fine, we will just use the piano. That means you'll have to come to my house as opposed to here, will that be problem?" She wondered.  
  
Emma shrugged. "It shouldn't be."  
  
"Alright then." Regina turned to her computer. She allowed the screen to load, and pulled up an audio editing program.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I'm working on a new song, and I'm testing the sounds of the instruments together before I show my band."  
  
"If you have this, why do you have band mates at all?"  
  
Regina sighed slightly, and looked at the blonde. "Because Miss Swan, I do not take short cuts. I want actual music being played, not altered manufactured music. This is just one step in a very long process in how I make my music."  
  
"Oh, can I hear what you have so far?" Emma pushed.  
  
Regina sighed again. "I suppose."  
  
Regina shot the player back to the beginning, and let the music fill the room. It was a soft ballad without any lyrics added into it yet. Emma could hear Regina trying to silently him the lyrics. When the song cut off,clearly not finished, Emma looked at Regina.  
  
"It sounds good so far," Emma told her smoothly.  
  
"I know," Regina said smugly, but frowned at the screen. "But I feel like its missing something." She huffed. "I've been stuck on this song for a week, and I can't come up with anything."  
  
"I'm sure it will come," Emma assured making Regina smile lightly.  
  
"You're rather optimistic."  
  
Emma shrugged and shook her head. "Actually, no I'm not. I'm actually more of a realist."  
  
Regina shrugged slightly. "If you say so."  
  
"I do." Emma looked back to the screen. "What are the lyrics?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"The lyrics? You were humming them."  
  
Regina sat for a few minutes debating if she would tell her. "Still in works too," was all she said before getting back to the song.  
\-----------  
When Emma returned home, she was thankful most of the house was asleep. She was able to sneak in unnoticed, she doubted anyone noticed her absence today anyway. Not with all the kids there. She knew only one person would notice her gone. She walked down the hall and looked in the first room, making sure that person was fast asleep.  
  
She then quickly proceeded to her bedroom, where her roommate was fast asleep. Probably passed out from the numerous drugs she had taken.  
  
She flopped on her bed, blocking out her surroundings. Her mind went back to her day with Regina. The woman had been patient and answered any questions Emma asked. She was kind and nothing like how anyone had told her. After Henry's nanny came to pick him up, they stayed in her office for a few hours, distracted with conversation and not allowing Regina to get much work done. 

 

After realizing the time Regina had put down her music. She decided they could go back to her, for lack of better term, mansion and work on Emma's sight reading a bit before Thursday. But instead they ended up watching watch a Moulin Rouge, Regina's favorite movie. Emma couldn't help but smile as Regina sang along. She found herself watching Regina more than the movie. After the movie, Regina made them and Henry some lasagna, and it was the best that Emma had ever eaten. 

 

Emma didn't want to go home. She hated Regina for making her feel this. She could afford this kind of attention. She didn't need it in her life. She felt the need to push her away, but pull her closer at the same time. Emma burred her head in her pillow, hating herself for seeking Regina out. It was a stupid thing of her to do. But as much as she hated herself for herself for it, Regina made her feel important. She took the time to care what Emma had to stay, even if it was stupid. She huffed, trying and failing to stop thinking about Regina.   
  
Her mind then drifted to earlier at school. The last week she had been hanging out with Mary Margret and David, after they told her to join them at lunch on Monday off campus. She wondered how they would react to her spending her whole night with Regina. Then she wondered why she even cared.   
  
She felt an odd pull towards them. She didn't know why but she had. But she also found them incredibly annoying. When they weren't talking about what awful thing Regina might do next, they spoke about horrible things others she had done. A few others would join in on the conversation, and Emma would just simply nod and agree. None of them seemed to notice how little she talked, due to that the head of their "group" did most of the talking. She found it nice too, because that meant the focus was off of her, and no one would notice how much of a mess she was.   
  
She rolled on her bed as she picked up her phone. After unlocking it she composed as message to Regina. She sat for a few moments, wondering if she could send it. Her finger tapping the phone. She sighed and hit send. Instantly she felt the nerves build in her stomach. Why did this woman make her feel like this? She never felt this way towards anyone.

 

Emma sat up, realizing something. She had feelings for Regina.

 

“No,” she muttered. “No,” she softly repeated. 

 

She couldn't. Not now. Not with everything going on her life. She couldn't have feelings for anyone. Anyone she had feelings for left her or ended up hurt. And she didn't like women. Did she?

 

Emma stood and slightingly made her way to her the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and took off her clothes, throwing them into a heap on the ground. She climbed into a steaming shower and allowed her fingers two slip between her legs. Her mind ran over thoughts of Regina. Regina's smile. Her eyes. Her lips. Oh, god those lips. Her breast. Emma's let out a whimper, and her hand stopped moving. She stood in the shower, frozen, for a few moments as she the realization came down on her. She longed for Regina. 

 

Everything this past week made sense now. How she couldn't stop thinking about her. And today's visit only made her feelings stronger. Emma's fist threw itself into the wall before she could even think about it. The pain ripped up her arm into her shoulder. She closed her eyes, reveling in the pain. She shook her head, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to push Regina away like everyone else. But she couldn't possibly be with her.   
\------   
Regina heard her phone go off her nightstand. She sat on her bed, her robe falling open slightly as she crossed her legs. She reached across to her phone and pulled open the message.   
  
'Thanks for today, I really enjoyed it. Can't wait to see you Thursday. <3 Emma'   
  
Regina couldn't help the foolish grin on her face. She sat staring at the message for a while when she realized she should reply back.   
  
'I did too. See you then.' Was all she replied, hoping it wasn't to vague.   
  
As much as she did look forward to it, she felt nervous about it. She never felt this nervous about anyone, at least not since Daniel. She hated it. And she was terrified of it.   
  
She feared that Emma would leave her, like everyone else. Or hurt and betray her. She couldn't take that again. What if she hurt Emma? She didn't think she could handle that either. She wondered if perhaps she should leave her alone.   
  
She sighed and laid down on her bed. She was so tired of being alone. Sure she had Henry, but her love for her child didn't break her loneliness of friendship and love. She scoffed at the word love. She couldn't think of it without the following word being pain.   
  
She wondered which pain her caring for Emma would end up as. She rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling. She smiled because even though what he relationship with Emma may become scared her, a part of her didn’t care. She was infatuated with the idea of Emma. It terrified her but excited her at the same time.   
  
She moved over to her pillow, allowing the her thoughts to carry her off to sleep.   
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more just a set up chapter. Hope you enjoyed :)


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